commentary

I'm not happy with the delivery of this one. I had to force a reminder that Moriarty and Monika are brother and sister and then hope that it would carry through to the "disgusting" punchline. The way this reads, I feel the reader thinks Monika's upset about the amount of sex in the commercial instead of my original intent, that she was disgusted about implied incest. (Hence Moriarty's "Not with me" line.)

Anyway, I didn't think this one effectively communicated all aspects of the misunderstanding and the comedy that results.

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